whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
