Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
