Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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