thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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