oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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