I puked a lego.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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