I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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