My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
