margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Randomize
