why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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