I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize