Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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