Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
