Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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