Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
