Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So much rum. So many feels.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
