Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i think im in europe. pls send help
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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