I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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