Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
