We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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