I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
