Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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