I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
