By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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