Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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