I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
