If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
