I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Less talking, more tequila
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
