am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
