this beer tastes like vomit already
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
