I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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