I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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