We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
