So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
