Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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