Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
