She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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