whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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