I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
