you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
