worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
