She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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