you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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