Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
