May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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