So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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