Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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