i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
