I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
