Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
