im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
