New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
