so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
