I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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