I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
