areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
