I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
