Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sorry about my life...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize