i don't like sucking hair
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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