very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
