Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize