so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize