"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
