There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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