You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
