yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize