You really coming over, don't trick.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
