And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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