yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
