We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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