I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
