I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
