I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
