i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
