Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
