idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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