I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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