one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
