i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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