I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
