So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
